Chapter Text
Freddie: Welcome to the Total Drama Aftermath!
Lily: The show where we interview the more recent losers on Total Drama Action. Today, We’ve got a whopping three guests!
Freddie: In case you ladies and gentlemen forgot, that’s Colton, who deserved it, Woody, who quit, and Teana, who is super excited to be here!
Lily: Now today- hold on, I’m getting something from our stage manager, Zero! Apparently, someone who was very eager to see everyone has joined our… “jury”? Is that what it’s considered?
Suddenly, the Minty intern walks on.
Freddie: Hey, hold on, where’s Mia?
Lily: Well… this is our little secret, gang. She’s joining the show! She’ll debut in the next episode.
Freddie: Good for her. But enough about that! Our first guest doesn’t talk, is the Whelans’ best friend, and takes to water like a fish, it’s Teana!
She walks on waving, but is slightly confused by the lack of Mia.
Ben: Mia’s joining the show next time!
Teana nods, and is soon tossed a phone.
Teana: That makes a lot more sense than my other theory. Wait, why is my text2speech the basic tiktok text2speech?
Freddie: I’unno. But time for questions! We’re gonna give you some basic questions and then get more personal. For example; where did you think it all went wrong?
Teana: When Woody quit. I don’t blame him, but it really ruined my plans.
Suddenly, the monitor Grace’s interview was conducted on flashes to life to reveal Woody in the craft services tent.
Woody: Sorry, Teana!
Lily: Woody, buddy, you were supposed to wait.
Woody: Oh, right!
Teana: Hey, Woody!
Woody: Hi, Teana. I’m gonna wait until your interview is done, now.
Freddie: Thank you. Teana, what went through your mind when Woody quit?
Teana: I was freaking out about losing all of my allies except for Brock.
Lily: Alright, I’ll go next. What would you do if what you said to your friend got out?
Teana: Quit. On the spot, instantaneously. I’d run to the lame-o-sine and steal it.
Lily: Isn’t that a bit drastic?
Freddie: It’d make for some great drama!
Lily: Yeah, cause that’s what we should be worried about.
Freddie: SEE! She gets it.
Lily: Actually, I’m pretty sure I don’t.
Freddie: Worry not, dear co-host, because it’s time for our next guest!
Lily: Woody, you can come on out!
Freddie: Our next guest ain’t afraid of no ghosts, makes great sandwiches, and is working for the show with pay-
Cut to Minty not looking ecstatic about the comment
Freddie: It’s Woody!
Woody: Hi again, everyone!
Lily: Good to see you, Woody. And don’t worry about Freddie, hounding you, because-
Freddie: It’s time for Truth or Shock!
Woody and Lily: Truth or huh?
Freddie: We’ve equipped our cameraman with two joy buzzers on each hand. He’s also a trained lie detector.
Cameraman: I took a course in high school, thought it’d be fun.
Woody: I’m scared!
Freddie: Don’t be just answer with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Woody: Okay…
Lily: I’m going to be asking the questions this time, because SOMEone is a little too focused on the “drama” aspect of the show.
Freddie: I’m just dedicated. Not my fault you aren’t willing to get into the nitty gritty of things.
Lily: I’m perfectly willing. I just prefer having friends.
Freddie: But think of the ratings, think of the fans!
Lily: You know what I think? I think you’re being a major pain in the a-
Woody: Hey, aren’t you guys supposed to be interviewing me?
Lily: Right. I apologize. We’re supposed to be acting professionally. RIGHT, Freddie?
Freddie: I have no idea what you are referring to. I’m doing my job to the best of my ability. What about you?
Lily: That’s it! I don’t know what they did to you offscreen to make you this mean, or why they did it, but they did something to you, because the Freddie I know and love, would not be such a jerk!
Freddie: Hold on, what did you say at the end there?
Lily: The Freddie I know would not-
Freddie: No, you said something else.
Ben: He’s right!
Pearl: Stage manager, play that back.
Zero rolls his eyes, but obliges.
There is a slo-mo of her ranting.
Freddie: You said you love me?
Lily: Not anymore.
Woody: Man! Forget my problems, now let’s hear about this soap opera!
Minty intern nods her head.
Lily: No. Woody, we’re going to interview you.
Woody: Okay.
Lily: Was there any reason other than the guilt that you quit?
Woody: I guess a general feeling of a lack of control. If I won, Dora would keep calling in favors for helping me win, and no matter what I did, she’d hang the threat of “The public would hate you if it got out.” above my head.
Freddie: Scary.
Lily: Woody, there’s a life out there to enjoy, so make sure you enjoy it. Okay?
Woody: Alright.
Freddie: Woody, when you saw that Teana was put into jeopardy because you quit, what went through your mind?
Woody: Well, after the rush of excitement, there was a rush of essentially, kicking myself. “I could probably take it an elimination more.” “I screwed up, because I quit and now Teana’s in trouble.” “Someone I care about may hate me now.”
Freddie: Listen, what you did was for a well mind, but not well-timed. I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.
Woody: Thanks for the comfort, Freddie, but I think I’ll just ask Teana herself.
Teana: You’re forgiven.
Lily: Looks like we have someone on webcam!
Freddie: Everyone give a warm welcome to DJ from British Columbia!
Cut to show a Jamaican boy with a t-shirt showing the letter D, a skullcap, and a beard. The screen is split between Woody and DJ.
DJ: Hi everyone! Woody, I wanted to ask you a question.
Woody: Fire away! I’m happy to answer your question.
DJ: How much coriander was in your Flavor Blend shaker?
Woody: Ooh, I dunno man, try enough to taste.
DJ: Alright, thank you!
Woody: No problem! Any other questions?
DJ: None that I can think of! Thanks!
Woody: It’s all good.
DJ’s part of the screen fades out, giving Woody the whole monitor again.
Lily: Alright, with that out of the way, let’s introduce our next guest.
Freddie: He got eliminated right after he told his girlfriend he wouldn’t, is a master at gull-dodging, and is my worst enemy, it’s Colton.
Colton walks onstage, somewhat annoyed.
Colton: What? You build up all that hype for a delivery as flat as that?
Freddie: At least I don’t need someone to lipsync when I act.
Colton: At least I got to act.
Lily: Guys, calm down!
Freddie: Sorry, Lily.
Priscilla: Hey, Col-ton!
Colton: Hi Priscilla! Sorry for not lasting longer.
Priscilla: It’s okay. Not your fault you got voted out.
Teana looks to the side awkwardly.
Colton joins Teana on the couch across from the others. Woody waves.
Lily: Colton, how are you doing today?
Colton: I just got rid of the jaw wires, so great.
Lily: Great, great. We’re going to-
Colton: Ask me questions?
Lily: Well, yeah. Geez, Colton, you could do our jobs.
Coltno: Ha! Alright, So let’s start with the questions.
Lily: Okay, if you say so. What were you thinking when Charlie kicked you in the jaw?
Colton: It was generally a mix of “My jaw feels funny.", "Why isn’t the slide moving?", and "Hi, birdies!”
Freddie: No way, man.
Colton: Yes way. That hurt dude!
Freddie: Speaking of hurt, it’s time for everybody’s favorite segment, “That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!”
The monitor flashes to splitscreen Woody with the events.
Cut to a segment of the contestant’s pain between the aftermaths. Colton getting knocked silly and Teana getting knocked out, Woody tackling Dora, Zero throwing a piece of wood at Minty, Grace nearly knocking the wind out of Tobias trying to fight of a ghost in a nightmare, Flo slipping on a random spoon and landing on Charlie and Phoebe, Tobias getting shot in the kidney, Natalie knocking her head against the top of the tube, the Gaffers nearly getting blown up, Saul nearly getting blown up by the Gaffers, and Zero walking into the side of the door while holding a clipboard.
Colton: Hold on, stagey, did that actually happen?
Zero pulls a finger across his throat and points at Colton. Colton takes the hint.
Colton: So other than a murderous stage manager, what else have you got for me?
Freddie: Truth or Shake!
Colton: Truth or huh?
Freddie: We’re hooking up a Polygraph detector to you.
Lily: Freddie.
Freddie: Relax Lily, we’ve taken out the shock mechanism, and will replace it with something that moves his hand a lot.
A new intern, wearing a Precipitation Land t-shirt, blue shorts, and flip-flops with long red hair stops putting the machine on Colton.
More interns that are never seen again take the shock mechanism out. The boy who was putting on the polygraph on initially finishes the job.
Lily: I’ll ask the first question; why can’t you get along with Freddie?
Colton: Because he’s either a jerk or a wimp- there’s no in-between!
Lily: I’m not going to deny that, but you can’t stand being around him, like, at all.
Colton: The same could be said for you.
Lily looks to the side.
Freddie: Wait, really? Listen, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to make the best for the show, and us!
Lily: Why?
Freddie: Because I want you to like me!
The polygraph starts moving.
Freddie: Fine! Because I wanted you to reciprocate my feelings or whatever its called.
Lily: Those feelings being?
Freddie:... Love. There! Are you happy you stupid lie detector thing?!
Lily: Freddie?
Freddie: Yeah?
Lily: I’m going to play a clip.
It’s the clip from Monstrous Millions when Freddie and Lily are caught and dropped in the bounce house.
Flashback Lily: I love you!
Freddie: Wait, really?! Does this mean we can date?
Lily: Slow down. Let’s finish the aftermath first.
Freddie: Alright.
Colton: Hey, there’s been a lot of Total Drama here. There’s not much to say that concerns me. Let’s finish the episode.
Freddie: Thanks, bro. This has been the Aftermath Two!
Lily: I’m Lily, this is Freddie, and we’ll see you next time.
Outro
